Posted by: Christine Johnson | June 3, 2006

Catholic Injuries

The Curt Jester found a list of Spiritual Injuries at TSO and added some of his own ideas to the list. Some examples from the original list:

1) Blood Sugar Fataltosis: This can occur as soon as two hours after beginning a fast, when the blood sugar falls so steeply as to induce paralysis and death.
2) Extraocular muscle tears: This can occur when the effort to gain custody of the eyes was too abrupt.
3) Lip & Tongue Lacerations: This happens when you bite your tongue or lips in an effort to avoid saying a mean-spirited remark.

And a few of his own:

1. Cranium Sprain: Occurs when straining to come up with a charitable explanations for someone’s actions when none are evident.
2. Sign of the cross repetitive motion injury. Evidenced by those who make the sign of the cross whenever somebody swears while working at a construction site or onboard a ship.
3. Tabernacle whiplash: Happens to some looking back and forth in a rapid action trying to spot the tabernacle in a church.
4. Rosary burn: Suffered by those who pray the Rosary so fast that the heat excitation caused by the rapidly moving beads against the skin cause a third-degree burn.
5. SOP Elbow: Caused by worshipers who attempt to shake the hands of everybody within 100 feet during the Sign of Peace.

The rest of the list is jsut as funny!

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