Posted by: Christine Johnson | July 25, 2006

Spiderbytes (CONTENT WARNING!)

Dawn Eden has a post up about Planned Parenthood in Canada’s site for teens, where they encourage kids to have sex. Yeah, I know, but it seems worse there than the US site.

They have a quiz there that they describe this way:

Decide on the best way to make your sexual choices. Try this quiz and get some tips.

I won’t post the quiz itself (there are some really non-family-friendly things in it), but I’ll tell you my answers (as far as A, B, C, D go.)

My original answers on the quiz were:

  1. C
  2. C
  3. B
  4. A
  5. C
  6. A
  7. C
  8. B

Mind you, these are pretty tame, and generally “I’m-not-that-comfortable-with-sex” answers. (Like, if you are at a party and can fool around with someone you like, what do you do? I chose “only fool-around in the dark — it’s easier to do more that way.” Clearly, it shows a lack of wanting to really knowing what’s happening; if I can’t see it happening, maybe it’s not really happening.)

What does Planned Parenthood tell me about sex and my “readiness” for it?

Getting all the Info

You’re ready to try stuff, but you want control. Keep that confident and responsible edge – you have the right to control your sexuality. But wait! Feeling a bit love struck is okay too. Maybe you already know this. If not, get ready, because it’s not always simple. Just use that same confidence to live through it all. And have fun.

By changing a couple of answers to slightly more conservative ones, I get this:

Ya Whatever. Maybe Later.

Some days you’d rather floss your teeth than talk about sex acts. Maybe you are still figuring out what you are interested in. Not doing sex acts is just as normal as doing them. If you feel guilty, ashamed, or confused about your sexual feelings, think about why and consider talking to someone about it. Maybe there is a friend that you can trust or a talk-line you could call. If you are just not interested right now, so be it… enjoy the rest of life and live it up!

Notice that they are not encouraging that kids talk to their parents about this – just buddies and the “talk-line.” (Gee, I wonder which talk-line they mean? Could it be…SATAN!? er…I mean, Planned Parenthood?)

And at the bottom of each quiz result is this gem, just in case you don’t like your results:


Do the results not make sense to you? Think you fit in somewhere else? Try the quiz again, or stop and do some thinking. You know yourself better than anyone. Sometimes it’s just a matter of listening to what your gut has to tell you.

Listen to your gut? I guess that’s replaced the conscience in the post-Christian world.

Oh, one last thought for you, in case you didn’t feel sick enough. Here’s what they have to say about how it feels to be a virgin:

Saying ‘no’ to any sex act, is sometimes difficult. And being ready to lose your virginity but not having a partner may be just as hard.

  • You may feel frustrated that you haven’t done it.
  • You may think that you’re being too cautious or innocent.
  • Other teens may tease you.

Saying ‘yes’ isn’t any easier. You have just as many difficult decisions about:

  • what to do
  • how to do it
  • and who to do it with

So stick to what feels right for you.

Nothing about being virtuous by saying no. Just push, push, push for the sex. (No pun intended.)




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